Building Your Family Library

I was asked a few weeks ago to put together a display on "Building Your Family Library" for our stake Relief Society meeting that happened tonight.   I had a lot of fun putting this together and read some great articles to prepare.  Here is the information I put on the handout:

Establish a House of Learning:

Building Your Family Library

“Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:  And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”   -- Proverbs 24:3-4 - -

In his talk entitled Hallmarks of a Happy Home, President Thomas S. Monson said, "…a happy home is discovered when home is a library of learning. Whether we are preparing to establish our own family or simply considering how to bring heaven closer to our present home, we can learn from the Lord. He is the master architect. He has taught us how we must build." So, how do we build our family libraries, how do we know what to place in our homes of learning, and where do we find these “precious and pleasant riches?”


What Do You Put on Your Shelves?
Books, Music & Movies are the obvious three. When trying to decide on the best of these materials ask yourself three questions:
     1. Does it uplift and inspire - “All good things come from God.”
     2. Will I read, watch or listen to this again?
     3. Is this going to teach my children the lessons I want them to learn, build their character, or give them   the ideas I want them to think when idle?


** Don’t be afraid of the word “classics.” Oftentimes, when we hear “classics” we think of old books with difficult language. Those books do have their place & value, but if a book, a movie or music meets the criteria above for your family, that item becomes a classic in your home. Needless to say, the scriptures should become the number one classic of the family.

"…if you think the ideas that were lived by the apostle Paul or Emerson or Shakespeare or Jesus of Nazareth, your mind will start responding as their minds did." - - Sterling W. Sill

Cultural Events: This is the intangible part of your home library. Exposing your family this way enhances their desire to seek refined and “wholesome recreational activities.”
"Your mind is a cupboard and you stock the shelves." -Thomas S. Monson

Family History: President Monson reminds us, "As parents, we should remember that our lives may be the book from the famiy library which the children most treasure." Place family journals, scrapbooks, and records within reach of your children.

You may also want to include games, magazines, books on CD, and other such items in building a house of learning.


Where Do You Start? Where Do You Look? Where Do You Put it all?
Start with what you love! As you become more well-read, your tastes will change & grow.
Start with what you have. Go through your shelves at home and see if you have only the best surrounding your family.
Start at the library.  “To be well-read...it is not necessary to possess expensive collections of literature, for they are available to rich and poor alike in the libraries of the world.” - Douglas Callister


Our family mantra: Rarely pay full price for anything! I started my own collection on www.paperbackswap.com. I went through my shelves, got rid of the things I didn’t want to keep & only ordered hardbound classics I wanted.


“Most modern homes are not built with large libraries in mind. But all you really need to start a home library collection is a simple bookshelf, table, or cabinet in a frequently used area of the home where your books can be kept in order (Ensign, Apr. 1982).”

“Seek Ye Out of the Best Books”

Best Books Resources
Books that Build Character by William Kilpatrick
What Your Child Needs to Know series by E.D. Hirsch
Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt
http://www.books4yourkids.com/ (search by author, genre or level)
http://www.goodreads.com/ (share reviews with friends)
www.amazon.com (reviews)

Best Places to Look
websites:
http://www.amazon.com/
http://www.half.com/
http://www.thriftbooks.com/
http://www.abebooks.com/
local stores:
Adventures Underground
The Book Worm
Local yard sales & thrift stores

Best Articles to Inspire You
Hallmarks of a Happy Home - President Thomas S. Monson
Your Refined Heavenly Home - Douglas L. Callister (BYU Speeches)
Bottles and Books - Sterling W. Sill (BYU Speeches)
Mothers Teaching Children in the Home - Elder L Tom Perry
The Educated Woman within us - Elaine S. Sorensen, Mar. 1983

My Friend, Leo!!

Book of the Week!

I read this years ago and remember loving it.  In preparation for our Mentoring Mothers Meeting today (see next post) I decided to pull it out and read it again.  Amazing the second time around, too!  This man is full of those one-liner (or paragraph) gems that you want to ingrain in your mind for forever.  I'm sure those at the MMM were sick of who I fondly call, "My Friend, Leo."  :-)

Basically, his whole purpose is to teach others how to truly love. How to love one another.  How to love your parents.  How to love your spouse.  How to love learning.  How to love life.  And he exemplifies it in his speeches, it's amazing.  As you read you can just hear this passionate, Italian man telling you to get off your duff and start living your life. 

As a glimpse of who this man is, I want to share what he calls his "Essentials:"

1. Right Knowledge, to supply you with the tools necessary for your voyage.

2. Wisdom, to assure you that you are using hte accumulated knowledge of hte past in a manner that will best serve the discovery of your presence, your "now."

3. Compassion, to help you accept others whose ways may be different from yours, with gentleness and understanding, as you move with them or thorugh them or around them on your own way.

4. Harmony, to be able to accept the naturla flow of life.

5. Creativity, to help you to realize and recognize new alternatives and unchartered paths along the way.

6. Strength, to stand up against fear and move forward in spite of uncertainty, without guarantee or payment.

7. Peace, to keep you centered.

8. Joy, to keep you songful, and laughing and dancing all along the way

9. Love, to be your continual guide towards the highest level of consciousness of which man is capable.

10. Unity, which brings us back to where we started - - the place where we are at one iwth ourselves and with all things.

Must Read Books of the Month

All of these books are by the same author, Leonard Sax.  He is amazing and his books just grab you in! 

These books are more than self-help books, more than parenting books.  These books, each one in their own way, changed my perspective on male/female roles and how to teach my children!  Phenomenal books that I am literally telling EVERYONE about  (apparently there is now a long waiting list at the library, get your name on there now).  :-) 

Why Gender Matters:  Great for undestanding gender differences but not like Men are from Mars or whatever that popular book was all about (you know, put two different species together from different planets and see what you get!?!).  It's more about the fundamentals of gender, how the differences are not societal pressures but truly hardwired into us, and how we can foster these seemingly ancient traditional roles.

Boys Adrift:  Are you wondering why there are so many young men still living at home with their parents at the age of 30!?!?  Example:  watch the movie Failure to Launch and you'll see what this guy's talking about (but I do recommend ClearPlay if you do watch it!).  This book addresses the WHYs of this epidemic and how to solve the problem. 

Girls on the Edge:  Oh my goodness!  I think every parent with girls needs to read this book.  I rarely "force" my husband to read a book.  This one will be the one!  And the great thing about this book, too, is that I learned so much about MYSELF while reading it.  Excellent!

So, go forth and read!! 

To find out more about what Dr. Sax is doing go to http://www.leonardsax.com/

Mentoring Mothers

Last year a few of us were talking about how nice it would be to create a setting where we mothers could sit and chat about the principles and keys of TJEd.  We wanted to see how others were applying things and create an edifying support group of sorts to hash out our educaitonal goals and purposes.  So, I started holding what we call Mentoring Mothers in my home once a month.  So far, each time has been so edifying for me and those who participate.  Last year we just took a principle/key (i.e. You, not Them or Classics not Textbooks) and explored them more in depth.  This year we will be exploring the PHASES (core, love of learning, scholar, depth, mission) under the principle of YOU, not THEM.  We mothers need to become secure in who we are first, understanding and accepting who we are and the phases we go through in life.  I thought I would just share some of the things we discussed.

This month we talked about three keys in the CORE phase:
** Virtures - putting the important things first
** Balance of Work & Play
**Classics
We started with the question:
ARE YOU THE BEST EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU WANT THE WORLD TO BE?
(put this up on your mirror!!)

"All I could think of [after she asked me that question] was that I didn't have time to be good example because I was so busy doing so many urgent and important tasks that never stopped coming. I ran around getting a lot of good things done, but I knew I wasn't any model of peace, sustainability, or healthful living. If people lived like me, we'd have a world of exhausted bodies and despairing hearts. But I also knew it was time - - time to be able to say it with integrity in my heart. So, can YOU say it out loud? "I am a great example of how I want the world to be!!" It is possible to say this with integrity, it really is, and it's worth working toward. It's the quickest way I know to deep happiness and peace, but it sure doesn't just happen."  - - Cat Charissage, It's Time (see tjedonline.com)

With this in mind, we talked about goal-setting . . . not necessarily as tasks we wanted to accomplish, but character traits we want to build, more like a personal mission statement.  One friend gave a great idea on how to write a mission statement.  Instead of putting things that you wanted or wished to be, make the statements as though it is already YOU. "I am smart. I am energetic. I am...."


Virtures
We talked about putting virtures ahead of academics (for moms that means being too task oriented that we forget to make time for the character building) and how important it is that we make that time for ourselves to be alone, to evaluate our needs, and have interviews/discussions with our spouse and children.

Work vs. Play. Being women we can be so emotionally driven, right?!  We can get so caught up in the "to do" lists we forget to live in the moment.  Okay, maybe I just speak for myself on that one!  :-)  But seriously, sometimes I just wish I could be calm, cool and collected all of the time or be more playful with my children.  An article on tjedonline talks about Emotional Intelligence. 

"Emotional intelligence involves being aware of one's own feelings and being able to manage them effectively and being able to respond appropriately to other's feelings. This awareness of feelings in oneself and in others hould lead to quality relationships." - - Marilyn Robb

This quote spurred on a great discussion on how we can become "emotionally stable" (Secure, not Stressed!) and how part of going through the Core Phase personally requires letting go and/or accepting how you became who you are  (strengths & weaknesses!). 
Classics
We need to use them to "get back to our roots." Oliver DeMille suggests that we look at where our ancestory came from and read the classics from that location. Spanish: Cervantes, English: Shakespeare, Italian: Virgil, Greek: Homer, etc.... These are the books your ancestors were reading. These were the books that shaped their culture. Getting back to your roots brings that culture into your home for you and your family! I loved this. :-)

These meetings take place the 2nd Wed. of each month.  Next month we will be exploring relationships and gender roles.  I'll try to keep the notes coming after each one.  :-)

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Books mentioned/used:
Joyful Mother of Children - Linda Eyre
Spiritual Lightening - M. Catherine Thomas
The New People Makers - Satir
Books that Build Character
Say Go Be Do - Tiffany Earl