Life as it Happens or Make Life Happen?

This morning we had another great Mentoring Mothers meeting.  It was all about goal-setting (and a bunch of other stuff in between).  It made me really think about my goals and what I really do want to achieve each day and in my life.  I stumbled upon a new favorite blog in the process of finding good fodder for the discussion today.  It's fabulous!  One of my favorite quotes from there states something like this:  "Don't get so caught up in doing the mundane that you fail to do the miraculous."  I like that.  I want to implement that frame of thinking more in my day to day living.

The author of this blog also uses the phrase, "intentional motherhood."  Are we letting time, life and craziness happen or are we making things happen in our day that are good,wholesome, and rewarding?

I have big goals, dreams, wishes...whatever you want to call them.  I do.  So big that sometimes my husband just laughs and has to pull me out of the clouds and back to planet earth (like the time I dreamed our family could ride bikes across country some day....could happen....maybe).  ???  Anyway, I think I just don't want to look back and say these phrases:

I wish I had....
Where did the time go?
What did I do back then?
How did I get here?
What did I accomplish?
etc....etc...etc....

Intentional living.  Making plans.  Setting goals.  Doing things instead of just dreaming things (okay, still standing on solid ground...easily distracted).   I was reminded about one aspect of goal-setting this morning.  Goals need to be attainable, realistic, worthwhile and have a timetable.  As said before I am a planner...but what if the planning weren't so far out there in the future, but more day to day.  Big goals are GREAT and necessary, but not at the expense of and really, only as a guide for what can be happening today.

I love,love, love this post from Kat at Inspired to Action on How to be an Amazing Mom Today:

Step 1: (1 minute) Write down 1 characteristic you want to describe you as a mom.

Step 2: (1 minute) Write down 1 characteristic you hope your children have as they go off to college.

Step 3: (3 minutes) Write down 2 simple ways you can invest in those today.

Don’t over think it. Just write it. Then do it.

Pictures Anyone?!?!

Meet Our Smiliest Kid Yet!!!



This was funny to me because this was his constant position while in the womb and it's how he continued to sleep for the first few months.

And I couldn't resist a picture or two of my six crazy kiddies all together.  CRAZY like their Mama!!!

2 Great Inspirational Ideas

I have been mulling over a couple of issues with my 11yo son, wondering how to inspire him to (a) read books that might be a bit more challenging, and (b) write.

He has always been a fantastic reader and loves to read.  But getting him to read more challenging books, not just the exciting books (i.e. Fablehaven, Harry Potter, the Olympians, etc.) has been a struggle.  These books he reads are great, I've enjoyed some of them myself, but I just would like to see him branch out some more.  He does seem to love listening to me read aloud the more classic books, though.  Anyway, I came up with what I think is a brilliant plan.  I invited him to read books with me (not aloud, just separately but at the same time).  So, first he chooses a book and then I choose a book.  It's been great!  He chose first.  I was reluctant at first to read what he chose (The Candy Shop War) because of my goal to have him branch out.  But then I realized if I didn't trust his choices, he wouldn't trust mine.  We also have a deadline by which the book needs to be read.  So far we've read Candy Shop War and Castle Corona (actually B's choice because she thought to join in for a minute).  And now we are reading The Westing Game (my pick).  And the best part of it is, I am being forced to read  (not that I need much arm twisting, but giving myself time to read isn't always easy these days...now I have a great excuse...there's a deadline!).  I'm excited to see how challenging I can get as the year goes on.  :-) 

As for the writing.  Well, I didn't realize he didn't like writing until recently.  The kid will do whatever I ask him to do...but I want him to love it!  Well, in our new learning system (to be explained in a different post) he wrote down "movies" as one of his goals.  What!?!?  So, I explained that he could add movies to his list, but he had to do more with the movie than just watch it for watching's sake, you know... discuss it with mom, answer questions about it, etc....  And then it hit me....Why not combine something he LOVES with something he doesn't like so much??  I did a bunch of research and found some websites that discuss how to write  a movie review.  Today was his first trial.  We read the tips on how to write a review.  Then I had him read some example reviews and highlight the parts in the reviews we wanted to include in his reviews (i.e. character development, opinion, etc.).  And then he chose and watched Toy Story 2 (I wanted him to start with a simple movie).  He took notes while watching and now has a deadline to finish his review (edited and revised) by Friday.  We'll see how it goes, but I'm excited to try it out.  Maybe we'll post his reviews on the blog for added incentive and enthusiasm.  :-)

Websites I found:
Teach with Movies - this site has an annual fee, but I like it for the age-by-age movie suggestions
How to Write a Movie Review (the best one I found)
Scholastic movie review ideas (this has some printable pages I kind of liked)

***note: my friend found a free website with worksheets and questions tied to movies, I'm still waiting to get that site info from her and will add it soon

Changes, Choices and Chores

Okay, so after a few weeks of  stress and frustration, being completely inspired by President Uchtrdorf's talk, and re-reading a great book, I made some major changes this week with fabulous results.

First, let me remind you of a quote by Elder David A. Bednar from a previous General Conference.  He said,

As children of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity and power of independent action. Endowed with agency, we are agents, and we primarily are to act and not merely be acted upon—especially as we “seek learning … by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118).  . . . Are you and I helping our children become agents who act and seek learning by study and by faith, or have we trained our children to wait to be taught and acted upon? Are we as parents primarily giving our children the equivalent of spiritual fish to eat, or are we consistently helping them to act, to learn for themselves, and to stand steadfast and immovable? (emphasis added)

Since hearing these words over a year ago I have been trying to figure out a way to help my children learn to act for themselves (in more ways than just gospel study).  I haven't been able to find a balance that works with my need for structure and my want for them to feel they have freedoms. Nagging them sure was against the principle and letting them have free choice to "do whatever you want" didn't seem to work either.  So, I sat down last weekend and drew up a new plan with energy and excitement.

This week we started with CHORES and it's amazing how the CHOICE of CHORES made my kids much more wiling to do them.  Agency works!  :- )

Here's what we do (mostly taken from the Home Companion, tweaked a little for our needs):

Going room by room I made a list of ALL the chores I like to get done around the house, little and big  (I even included laundry).  Then I wrote each chore on jumbo popsicle sticks.  Now each morning I choose which chores I need done that day.  After breakfast they take turns choosing a job until they each have their three.

Our new schedule now consists of an hour(+/-) with Mom for learning, reading, & projects together and then the kids are set free for the rest of the day to work on their jobs and own studies (more on the studies changes in the next post).  They are not allowed to play until these things are done. 

That's it.  SIMPLE but SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE than I even anticipated.  One day I caught my 9 yo talking to herself.  "What do we have to do today?  Oh, yeah, I get to choose myself."  And then she skipped off to do her chores.  There's no more arguing or nagging from mom to get the jobs done by a certain time.  The consequences are no longer in my hands, it's all up to them.  FREEDOM WORKS! They really are acting for themselves and not being acted upon.  And what's really cool is that our house has been really clean this week.  :-) 

I did not include my 4yo in the stick pulling process.  He was so sad I told him that when he learns to clean his room by himself I will include him in the rotation.  Nothing like more chores as motivation, right?!  It worked!  He's been eager (this week) to clean his room.  We'll see how long that lasts.  :-)

I've also incorporated this same type of agency-based system in our goal setting and studies plan.  After trying it out more fully this next week, I'll keep you posted.  :-)

+++++++

Other talks on Agency-Based teaching:
What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be? 

General Conference talk by Matthew O. Richardson, October 2011 (Teaching by the Spirit)

Agency and Control by President Boyd K. Packer

You Are Loved

Last night I was completely overwhelmed with God's love for me.  I'm sure I was not the only woman in the room or in the world who felt as I did during the Relief Society broadcast for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

Wow!  I cannot say that enough!  Wow!  Nor do I know if I can express exactly how I was feeling as President Uchtdorf reminded all women just how amazing and wonderful we are while also reminding us to keep our minds focussed on the important things. 

He used the Forget-Me-Not flower and it's five petals as a symbol and drawing board for the message he wanted to share with us.  As he went through each of the five things to never forget in our lives, I was overcome with emotions and many tears were shed.  I couldn't help but feel, especially after a long and trying few weeks, that that talk was specifically for me.  Even before he stood up to talk I knew President Uchtdorf would deliver the message Heavenly Father wanted and needed me to hear.

What were the five things I (we) must never forget:
1. Be Patient with yourself - The road to perfection is long!

2. Some sacrifices are good while other sacrifices are foolish

3. Choose to be happy NOW - don't wait for the golden ticket so much that you miss the small joys along the way

4. The WHY of the gospel will inspire and uplift you

5. The Lord knows, loves and cherishes YOU.

There are a myriad of things I could say about each one of those five things.  But time is short these days and so I will simply relish in the feelings that I feel from hearing what the Lord needed me to hear and hope that it will sustain and carry me through another week as I anxiously anticipate even more personal messages from the Lord through His servants at General Conference this upcoming weekend. 

"Let us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground, thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us." - - President Uchtdorf

Back to Life, Back to Reality!

So, it's begun.  A new "school" year.  Actually . . . we started about a month ago.  We were all ready after the baby break.  Granted, it was not started all at once, nor have we completely enjoyed every minute of being back on schedule, but after a month we're finally realizing this is our new reality!  :-) 

Yes - - we started a new schedule.  I love scheduling! I love figuring out just what we're going to do to make things work each year.  It's like putting a puzzle together.  What's funny is that the general schedule almost never changes.  I keep thinking I'm going to do something new . . . but I don't.  Because what we've done has worked thusfar.  However, this year we are doing some things a bit differently.  Which is exciting.  I've changed some things partly because:
a) I now have a "middle schooler"/transition-to-scholar/11yr. old prepubescent boy/whatever you wanna call it!!  - - can you believe it!  And yes, he stayed home (I used the parental veto chip on that one)

b) I have a baby with a schedule.  His own.

c) I was energized by Charlotte Mason and another TJEd article and my own inspiration as I've watched my children completely GLOW when given a project assignments.

So, our basic schedule is as follows:

Morning family scripture study
Breakfast (bedrooms cleaned first, usually)
Family work - each child has an area they are responsible for cleaning and sometimes we have other group cleaning we need to do as well
Family Learning Time - This consists of our read aloud book and then an activity based on the book and/or US History, science or whatever I'm in the mood to "teach" that day.  This is when I will introduce a project that will be due a week or so later (more on that below).
Individual Learning time (about 4-5 hours of free learning time w/ lunch in between) - this is when the kids will each work on their own skills...math, reading, writing, piano, whatever else interests them, etc.
And then free play time for a couple of hours before dinner prep, quick clean up and evening activities

So, that's the gist of what we are trying to do. 

Now this project idea came to me while going through my parents' storage unit.  We found an activity that I remember doing in 5th grade as a kid.  We created our own colony complete with a map of the colony and a flag.  There was also a written report of different facts regarding our colony and its history.  So fun! 

I decided to start with Colonial times in our history this year (using A History of US as a guide, by the way, fabulous series!!) and presented my kids with this project idea.  They ate it up!!  All throughout the day I would find one or more of my children working on their project with excitement.  I gave them a little over a week to complete the assignment.  They were so proud when they were all done. 

Just last week I then gave them a project where they were to choose one of the 13 colonies to learn more about and create a poster showing some key facts about their colony.  Again, I saw excitement and eagerness. 

So, I am now completely convinced that PROJECTS are the way to go for our family.  They love them.  There are three great benefits from doing projects this way:  1) they each get to work on their projects at their own pace and time;  2) each project is completely individualized!  It was so fascinating to watch how one child would spend more time on the poster decorating while another would spend more time reading details and copying information word for word from a book on their colony; and 3) I don't get so hung up on what they're doing during free time (this is my problem).  I know they have a project due at a certain time and leave it at that.  I can give gentle reminders, but it's not really up to me to micromanage the situation.  I'm there as a mentor and that's it. 

SO!  NOW I'm thinking I need to come up with some more project ideas!!  If you have any suggestions please send them my way (especially in the US history dept.)!

Next week things will get a bit crazier with some class scheduling and so we'll see how that works with our home schedule and a baby schedule.  But for now, this is working great for us.  :-)  Hope it continues.  Wish me luck! 

Let's Think About This

What is wrong with the English language?!  


One spelling...5 different sounds:


 -ough = 


dough
plough
cough
through
rough

?????????????????????? 


(the kids thought this was pretty fascinating)