As I've been browsing what others are doing in their homes with A Thomas Jefferson Education and reading various posts and blogs concerning this philosophy, I have been amazed at how many of us are lamenting over the education of our children. I know the discussion groups are great for seeking answers when we hit road blocks; however, it seems all too common to see questions like, "How do I do this?" and "Struggling mom needs help!" and "Why can't I seem to get this right?" Believe me, I've asked the very same questions this past year. I think asking these types of questions are necessary in understanding TJEd for ourselves.
I've had an epiphany. Too many of us are focussing on our weaknesses, on our failings based on what we think is "right." When we focus on these negatives we leave very little room for the energy needed to fully implement these amazing principles. And I believe that the reason we focus on our shortcomings or try too hard to "do it right" is because of the "nots" in the principles. I suggest that we spend more time working on the DO's rather than the NOT's of the 8 Keys of Great Teaching.
#1 - Classics: Seek out the benefits of reading great classics. Discover the classics for yourself and with your family! Establish a core classic on which to base your family values and beliefs, a standard to follow. My favorite quote from Rachel DeMille goes something like this, "Once you've read 5 classics in math, 5 classics in science, 5 classics in literature, 5 classics in history . . . you won't be asking how to do this. You'll be asking different questions, better questions." Texbooks? Textbooks still have a place in the TJEd home. They can still be used and considered classics if used wisely and timely OR if there just seems to be a perfect textbook for your family (or even ONE of your children).
#2 - Structure Time: Observe your family's use of time. What is the natural ebb and flow in your home? Follow those signs to create and environment for learning. Does your family learn best in the morning or the evening? Where do family chores fit in in the structure? How much time do you allow for learning, or is the time all filled up with activities and multiple cirriculums that there is no time for self-educating? These are improtant questions to ask when exploring this key. As for content, there are times when you do need to plan the conent. Little Suzy is really interested in bugs. Don't just expect her to learn about them all on her own. As the parent/mentor, we need to be handing them the tools. This is also what Kidschool is for, a time to teach them something you feel is important or exciting. Yes, planning content is important, but it's the TIME that really matters when inspiring children to learn.
#3 - Mentors: What do professors do best? They lecture. Great teachers and leaders guide their students & followers naturally. There isn't underlying pressure to perform at a certain level. Be a mentor, someone your child can come to with questions and problems. Is there a time for lecturing? You betcha! But when we lecture less, then when we do lecture it will be that much more impactful! :-)
#4 - Inspire: Let's face it - - there are things that need to be required in life. But again, the focus really should be on inspiring, not "not requiring." I have felt guilty at times when requiring anything academic from my children. I don't think that is the essence of this great key. My husband has coined his own term for this, 'Inspire IN the Require." And that is what we do in our home. We require daily reading, writing and math. We follow math cirriculums for the most part, but every once in awhile we "take a break" and read some inspiring math books or play some cool math board games with the intent to light the spark. Inspiring children to learn is harder than simply requiring the next lesson in the book, but I can testify that our relationships are stronger when I'm focusing on the inspiration rather than the require . . . without feeling guilty about the things I do require of my children.
#5 - Simplicity: This one speaks for itself . . . and it's one I'm still working on. :-) Keep it simple, but if you do have one complex and exciting lesson or outing planned, enjoy the moment. Don't let the projects or the field trips or the discussions become a vice in your experience.
#6 - Quality: Expect great things! That's all this is saying. Don't settle for less than your very best. To me this also suggests looking at the greatness of your children rather than their faults. Expect them to be great and they will naturally and happily rise to that standard!
#7 - YOU: Ahh . . . The illustrious "You, Not Them." This is a biggy for me. I've heard a couple of people say, "Am I really supposed to just ignore the children?" or "I've done my schooling, it's time for me to now focus on my kids." This is true. Most of us have "been there, done that." But that does not mean our learning has come to an end. Actually, for me, after school is when it really began! And some people are okay with leaving their children to their own exploring (probably more the unschooling approach).
How I look at this is not with the perspective of "ignore the children," but rather, "don't forget yourself in the process." If you want to read great books, read great books. This doesn't mean you need to be reading Euclid if Euclid doesn't interest you. If you want to learn how to eat healthier, by all means do it! If you want to be outdoors, head on out (just be sure to take your family). Focussing on your talents, strengths and desires is following this principle. Just be sure to discuss and involve your family in the process (again, another purpose of Kidschool).
I also see this principle in the light of focusing on YOUr family rather than the THEMs out there in the world telling you what you must do to educate your children. Listening to yourself and creating a learning environment for your family is a huge part of the "You" principle.
#8 - Secure: Here I could just repeat my last paragraph as well as the paragraph on simplicity. We need to focus on what is right for our individual situations. Many people write/say that they "feel these principles are right" and yet are still very hesitant and stressed about "doing it right" or "messing it up." This is why we need to focus on the positives.
As I've looked back over the years, I've realized just how much I have been following these principles almost without even knowing it. Maybe not the same way as others, maybe not perfectly, and definitely with a lot of mess-ups. But, it's only when I start comparing myself to others that I become confused and doubtful about these principles. There were a couple of hard years there when it was all about the requiring. But that's okay. I needed it then. There have been months where I've been more stressed than secure. There are days when chaos seems to "rule the nest." These days, months, years do not mean I'm failing and that I will never raise great children. They're just gliches. And when I focus on the positives - - Secure, You, Quality, Simplicity, Inspire, Mentors, Time and Classics - - I am more secure, I am more inspirational and I am more able to mentor my children in the directions they need to go.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Key Action (in response to post on TJEdMUSE)
The timing for this post was perfect for me! Maybe it's the Jan/Feb slump we all feel, I don't know, but I have actually had the same nagging feeling. Yes, I am doing more than needed right now, but I am headed in the right direction (finishing up what I"ve already started while working on the place I want to be). When you posted . . .
She called me to say that after the couple of overwhelmed emails she had sent, she had figured out what was needed: She was supposed to start writing more. She had interpreted her malaise to having too full a plate, and was really surprised to find it all fitting together when she actually added something to her roster.
. . . I thought, "Exactly!" Writing more has been a though floating around in my head for the past two weeks. Writing was something I loved to do all growing up, in school and at home and even through college. Poems, books, music; I even loved essay exams! Then when the deadlines stopped and the kids started to come, I stopped writing. I mean, I still had my journal and I now have a blog and emails, etc., but I am finding the need to do so much more than that!
To go right along with all of this, I was listening to talk radio today where the caller was scared to go after her dreams. The host said a couple of things that struck me, "There is no price to pay when you wrap yourself around something you create!" and "You betrayed your passion." I wouldn't say I, personally, have betrayed my passion (my #1 passion being a wife and mother!), but I would say that the past few years I've forgotten to "wrap myself around" the things that I truly love, the things that make me sparkle inside, that "key action."
So, what is my key action? I would say I have a few. 1) Writing with a purpose 2) A good solid hour in the morning wrapped in my core book and 3) Teaching, serving and inspiring others (including my children). No, I have not been getting those actions done as well as I'd like, but I'm just about to start again.
She called me to say that after the couple of overwhelmed emails she had sent, she had figured out what was needed: She was supposed to start writing more. She had interpreted her malaise to having too full a plate, and was really surprised to find it all fitting together when she actually added something to her roster.
. . . I thought, "Exactly!" Writing more has been a though floating around in my head for the past two weeks. Writing was something I loved to do all growing up, in school and at home and even through college. Poems, books, music; I even loved essay exams! Then when the deadlines stopped and the kids started to come, I stopped writing. I mean, I still had my journal and I now have a blog and emails, etc., but I am finding the need to do so much more than that!
To go right along with all of this, I was listening to talk radio today where the caller was scared to go after her dreams. The host said a couple of things that struck me, "There is no price to pay when you wrap yourself around something you create!" and "You betrayed your passion." I wouldn't say I, personally, have betrayed my passion (my #1 passion being a wife and mother!), but I would say that the past few years I've forgotten to "wrap myself around" the things that I truly love, the things that make me sparkle inside, that "key action."
So, what is my key action? I would say I have a few. 1) Writing with a purpose 2) A good solid hour in the morning wrapped in my core book and 3) Teaching, serving and inspiring others (including my children). No, I have not been getting those actions done as well as I'd like, but I'm just about to start again.
Q&A's from TJEdMUSE
The following is a post from the TJEdMUSE yahoog group. I wanted to keep it for my own memory:
You wrote:
Do I just stop what we are doing?
Yes, if what you are doing is not working. And I have to assume that you have tried the conveyor belt approach and that it is not completely attractive to you. Now my guess is that some of what you are doing is working. Be sure to keep that part. It might be family relationships, reading together, daily devotional, weekend trips, craft activities, games or walks. I don’t know what is working in your home but I’m betting something is. Be sure to keep that and build on it.
When will their own initiative kick in?
May 3rd 2011. Sorry I couldn’t resist. Where is that crystal ball when we want it? We would love to be able to not have to trust the process and just be offered some guarantees, wouldn’t we? Of course, there are none. We really do have to have some faith and trust. If we don’t, we can’t let go of our old way of thinking and behaving.
Do I require the 3Rs?
How inspired are you to do the things required of you? Don’t require the 3Rs. But do inspire them. Are you reading great things to them? Things that you enjoy and they enjoy? When was the last time you wrote a paper and asked one of your children to give you some feedback on it? When children are inspired they will tackle the 3Rs. In the meantime, we can play math games, bake together and make sure that the recipe has to be made 2 ½ times or 5 ¼ to get the right amount, read math classics, write letters to each other and hide them around the house, (I had a friend who had a daily writing relationship with her son all based on the premise that he was leaving notes for the tooth fairy), read great books together, write a family mission statement together. Ask a friend or relative to write to your child and encourage your child to write back.
My freshman does his own work.
Then obviously something is going right in your home. To what do you attribute this? Is this really just this child’s nature or have you done something to inspire this?
They love playing, watching TV, or anything else but "school."
It is great that they love playing. We should all play more. BUT the type of play is crucial. Math can be play, exercise can be play, yard work can, so can any kind of academics. However, as is discussed in LE we have to allow the “right kind of vacuum”. If a child’s time is filled with television and computer games there is no “right kind of vacuum”. Rather than attempting to require what your children do you may have to place limits and make it clear what they may not do. If there is something to constantly entertain then thinking, reading, writing, and coming up with creative things to do becomes unnecessary and far less attractive.
Your subject line mentioned guilt. I’m not seeing in your post where the guilt comes in. How would getting off the conveyor bring up guilt for you? Is it really guilt or fear? I would encourage you to look at this deeply. Often when we are making motions towards getting off the conveyor belt we are afraid our children will miss something or that we are cheating them in some way. It is useful to get this fear out of the dark closet and into the light of day. We might be afraid they will never experience the joy we had on the night of our senior prom. Maybe they won’t learn trigonometry before they are 18. Maybe they will never have a high school sweetheart. Maybe they will never learn how to read, or write a paper without grammatical errors. If fear is the issue I encourage you to get as specific as you can about what it is. Sometimes what is holding us back is not even our own fear. It is someone else’s; your husband’s, mother-in-law’s, neighbors, etc. Can you get clear on the source of your guilty or fearful feelings?
Jumping off the conveyor belt into Leadership Education is a wonderful path. Exciting, freeing and sometimes downright scary. But most of us have found it worth the work. I encourage you to be brave and give it a shot. What do you have to lose? You can rest assured that if you decide the conveyor is ideal for your children it will always be there waiting for you.
Shawn Crane
You wrote:
Do I just stop what we are doing?
Yes, if what you are doing is not working. And I have to assume that you have tried the conveyor belt approach and that it is not completely attractive to you. Now my guess is that some of what you are doing is working. Be sure to keep that part. It might be family relationships, reading together, daily devotional, weekend trips, craft activities, games or walks. I don’t know what is working in your home but I’m betting something is. Be sure to keep that and build on it.
When will their own initiative kick in?
May 3rd 2011. Sorry I couldn’t resist. Where is that crystal ball when we want it? We would love to be able to not have to trust the process and just be offered some guarantees, wouldn’t we? Of course, there are none. We really do have to have some faith and trust. If we don’t, we can’t let go of our old way of thinking and behaving.
Do I require the 3Rs?
How inspired are you to do the things required of you? Don’t require the 3Rs. But do inspire them. Are you reading great things to them? Things that you enjoy and they enjoy? When was the last time you wrote a paper and asked one of your children to give you some feedback on it? When children are inspired they will tackle the 3Rs. In the meantime, we can play math games, bake together and make sure that the recipe has to be made 2 ½ times or 5 ¼ to get the right amount, read math classics, write letters to each other and hide them around the house, (I had a friend who had a daily writing relationship with her son all based on the premise that he was leaving notes for the tooth fairy), read great books together, write a family mission statement together. Ask a friend or relative to write to your child and encourage your child to write back.
My freshman does his own work.
Then obviously something is going right in your home. To what do you attribute this? Is this really just this child’s nature or have you done something to inspire this?
They love playing, watching TV, or anything else but "school."
It is great that they love playing. We should all play more. BUT the type of play is crucial. Math can be play, exercise can be play, yard work can, so can any kind of academics. However, as is discussed in LE we have to allow the “right kind of vacuum”. If a child’s time is filled with television and computer games there is no “right kind of vacuum”. Rather than attempting to require what your children do you may have to place limits and make it clear what they may not do. If there is something to constantly entertain then thinking, reading, writing, and coming up with creative things to do becomes unnecessary and far less attractive.
Your subject line mentioned guilt. I’m not seeing in your post where the guilt comes in. How would getting off the conveyor bring up guilt for you? Is it really guilt or fear? I would encourage you to look at this deeply. Often when we are making motions towards getting off the conveyor belt we are afraid our children will miss something or that we are cheating them in some way. It is useful to get this fear out of the dark closet and into the light of day. We might be afraid they will never experience the joy we had on the night of our senior prom. Maybe they won’t learn trigonometry before they are 18. Maybe they will never have a high school sweetheart. Maybe they will never learn how to read, or write a paper without grammatical errors. If fear is the issue I encourage you to get as specific as you can about what it is. Sometimes what is holding us back is not even our own fear. It is someone else’s; your husband’s, mother-in-law’s, neighbors, etc. Can you get clear on the source of your guilty or fearful feelings?
Jumping off the conveyor belt into Leadership Education is a wonderful path. Exciting, freeing and sometimes downright scary. But most of us have found it worth the work. I encourage you to be brave and give it a shot. What do you have to lose? You can rest assured that if you decide the conveyor is ideal for your children it will always be there waiting for you.
Shawn Crane
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Today
I would label today a successful TJEd day in our home.
7:30am - up and studying the gospel (me at least)
8:00am - devotional and breakfast
9:00am - chores and a little bit of free time while I get the Group Learning stuff ready
10:00am - Group Learning Time: we went to the park and had our own Olympics: standing long jump, races, a relay race, arm wrestling, and track ball throwing. Each child chose their favorite primary song as their "National Anthem" and so we sang the song of the winner in each category. Then we came back home and did some mapwork. We charted where each winter olympics took place. My 10yo took off and added some of the summer dates all on his own afterwards.
11:30am - More free time before lunch, played games with the boys
12:00noon - Lunch
12:30-3:00pm - Individual Learning Time: we did some math and spelling, the girls played in the treehouse (platform nailed in our tree) all afternoon because my 7yo figured out how to climb up to it, finally! I pretty much did all the busy work I needed to get done on the computer, telephone, etc.
3:00pm - Free play time until 4:30, then clean up & help with dinner
6:00 scouts, basketball practice, read stories with the younger boys while girls bathe and then read to the girls when they were done
8:30pm - all kids in bed, 10yo gets home from basketball and we have a little one-on-one discussion about the phases of learning and how he is an "agent unto himself." I'm still feeling I squelched his love of learning, but maybe he's just a laid back kid and wants to play games all day. ???? I asked him tonight what he really wanted to learn and he said, "You always ask me that, and I don't know." Time to get some sparks going.
9:30pm - time with husband - I broke down and watched a recorded episode of American Idol. I told myself I wouldn't, knowing I can seriously get addicted. It was fine, but I wouldn't say I'm hooked . . . yet. :-)
And finally, at 11:00pm I am rolling into bed.
7:30am - up and studying the gospel (me at least)
8:00am - devotional and breakfast
9:00am - chores and a little bit of free time while I get the Group Learning stuff ready
10:00am - Group Learning Time: we went to the park and had our own Olympics: standing long jump, races, a relay race, arm wrestling, and track ball throwing. Each child chose their favorite primary song as their "National Anthem" and so we sang the song of the winner in each category. Then we came back home and did some mapwork. We charted where each winter olympics took place. My 10yo took off and added some of the summer dates all on his own afterwards.
11:30am - More free time before lunch, played games with the boys
12:00noon - Lunch
12:30-3:00pm - Individual Learning Time: we did some math and spelling, the girls played in the treehouse (platform nailed in our tree) all afternoon because my 7yo figured out how to climb up to it, finally! I pretty much did all the busy work I needed to get done on the computer, telephone, etc.
3:00pm - Free play time until 4:30, then clean up & help with dinner
6:00 scouts, basketball practice, read stories with the younger boys while girls bathe and then read to the girls when they were done
8:30pm - all kids in bed, 10yo gets home from basketball and we have a little one-on-one discussion about the phases of learning and how he is an "agent unto himself." I'm still feeling I squelched his love of learning, but maybe he's just a laid back kid and wants to play games all day. ???? I asked him tonight what he really wanted to learn and he said, "You always ask me that, and I don't know." Time to get some sparks going.
9:30pm - time with husband - I broke down and watched a recorded episode of American Idol. I told myself I wouldn't, knowing I can seriously get addicted. It was fine, but I wouldn't say I'm hooked . . . yet. :-)
And finally, at 11:00pm I am rolling into bed.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Stepping Off
Things have been stressful the last month or so. Some of it could be do to overscheduling, that is true, but there is something else that I have not been able to put my finger on. Today I finally pinned it down. Stepping off the "conveyor belt" is quite unnerving. There are so many "what if's" in the process!! "What if my kids don't follow the leadership pattern?" "What if I'm not a good enough mentor?" "What if I don't do things exactly right?" "What if my kids don't learn anything or fall behind?" "What if my mom (husband, neighbor, friend, cousin . . . ) doesn't like it?" These are the questions I've been asking myself, and I'm sure many others have had similar thoughts before me.
This weekend in my reading I decided to keep track of Conveyor Belt Thinking vs. Leadership Education Thinking. Here is what I came up with (from Leadership Education by the DeMilles):
Conveyor Belt
Lessons learned: to copy, to count, to compare
Result: dependable followers
*Creates fear that the child won't "measure up"
*Require or push child to "fit the system"
*Students are expected to copmlete assignments
*The "generation gap" is deemed normal and healthy
*Parents/adults applaud kids' activities from a distance
*Promotes comparisions
Leadership Education
Lessons Learned: to create, to value, to impact
Result: responsible leaders
*Creates the assumption that the child will meet & exceed expectations
*Mentors build a system around the child's strengths
*Parents get their assignments from the kids/youth
*Listening & discussing together bridges "the gap"
*Parents/adults get involved in the child's interests (not overboard)
*Teaches the individual student to value - look at things as they really are
This side by side comparison has really helped me to see the differences between the two and to more clearly see which side of the fence I am on. Before making this list, I thought of Leadership Education in a box (as I see most things) of "to do's" and "not to do's": Inspire, not require; Time, not Content; Classics, Not Textbooks, etc. When looking at it that way, Leadership Education seems very limiting, confusing and stressful. For instance, I worry when I use a textbook or give them an assignment or require something (other than housework) and think I must be failing my children by not "doing it right." Maybe many of us struggle with this concept because of how education has become in our country. We rate children on their test scores rather than their character. We worry more about them "falling behind" than helping others who are behind. We measure our worth and the worth of our children by what they do, rather than who they are.
With this new perspective, I have realized that this philosophy really much more than the boxed "to do" lists. Leadership Education is primarily about the relationship. Leadership Education is about the heart of the matter, not the external output. Leadership Education is a very positive philosophy. I have recognized my lack of enthusiasm with the kids lately (that could be because I have a two year old!!) because I am more concerned about "am I doing it right?" rather than just doing it!!
So, what am I doing now to be sure I am moving forward? I am building my math library - - fun math books, games, biographies, etc. I am thinking outside the box for more projects that I can do with the kids. For instance, last week I took the kids to a friend's hobby farm where she has a lot of rabbits for my rabbit-loving daughter to see and learn more. Today we built a mini-greenhouse because we're working on a wheelbarrel garden. I am trying to pay more attention to the tone and relationships within the walls of our home. I am reading books that I've never even thought of before and completely fascinated by them. I'm having FEC with my husband (yay!).
And I'm really learning more about myself! I'm learning that I can do these things with the kids (again, having a baby/2-year-old has kept me a little closer to home, too much activity leads to too much stress). I am learning, too, that everything does NOT need to be planned out before we can follow through and that it is worth the effort to JUST DO IT!
Yes, I still do worry that they will "fall behind" and comparing myself with others, but each week I make just one slight change. Baby steps . . . another thing I've learned about myself. It's usually "all or nothing for me", and now I'm learning the art of taking those small and simple steps, one at a time.
This weekend in my reading I decided to keep track of Conveyor Belt Thinking vs. Leadership Education Thinking. Here is what I came up with (from Leadership Education by the DeMilles):
Conveyor Belt
Lessons learned: to copy, to count, to compare
Result: dependable followers
*Creates fear that the child won't "measure up"
*Require or push child to "fit the system"
*Students are expected to copmlete assignments
*The "generation gap" is deemed normal and healthy
*Parents/adults applaud kids' activities from a distance
*Promotes comparisions
Leadership Education
Lessons Learned: to create, to value, to impact
Result: responsible leaders
*Creates the assumption that the child will meet & exceed expectations
*Mentors build a system around the child's strengths
*Parents get their assignments from the kids/youth
*Listening & discussing together bridges "the gap"
*Parents/adults get involved in the child's interests (not overboard)
*Teaches the individual student to value - look at things as they really are
This side by side comparison has really helped me to see the differences between the two and to more clearly see which side of the fence I am on. Before making this list, I thought of Leadership Education in a box (as I see most things) of "to do's" and "not to do's": Inspire, not require; Time, not Content; Classics, Not Textbooks, etc. When looking at it that way, Leadership Education seems very limiting, confusing and stressful. For instance, I worry when I use a textbook or give them an assignment or require something (other than housework) and think I must be failing my children by not "doing it right." Maybe many of us struggle with this concept because of how education has become in our country. We rate children on their test scores rather than their character. We worry more about them "falling behind" than helping others who are behind. We measure our worth and the worth of our children by what they do, rather than who they are.
With this new perspective, I have realized that this philosophy really much more than the boxed "to do" lists. Leadership Education is primarily about the relationship. Leadership Education is about the heart of the matter, not the external output. Leadership Education is a very positive philosophy. I have recognized my lack of enthusiasm with the kids lately (that could be because I have a two year old!!) because I am more concerned about "am I doing it right?" rather than just doing it!!
So, what am I doing now to be sure I am moving forward? I am building my math library - - fun math books, games, biographies, etc. I am thinking outside the box for more projects that I can do with the kids. For instance, last week I took the kids to a friend's hobby farm where she has a lot of rabbits for my rabbit-loving daughter to see and learn more. Today we built a mini-greenhouse because we're working on a wheelbarrel garden. I am trying to pay more attention to the tone and relationships within the walls of our home. I am reading books that I've never even thought of before and completely fascinated by them. I'm having FEC with my husband (yay!).
And I'm really learning more about myself! I'm learning that I can do these things with the kids (again, having a baby/2-year-old has kept me a little closer to home, too much activity leads to too much stress). I am learning, too, that everything does NOT need to be planned out before we can follow through and that it is worth the effort to JUST DO IT!
Yes, I still do worry that they will "fall behind" and comparing myself with others, but each week I make just one slight change. Baby steps . . . another thing I've learned about myself. It's usually "all or nothing for me", and now I'm learning the art of taking those small and simple steps, one at a time.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Core Phase: A Time for Personal Spiritual Moments
One question I have been pondering lately with regards to Core Phase is: Will my children follow correct principles without me hovering over them? Then something happened this morning that gave me a boost of confidence.
In stake conference this last weekend our stake president challenged us to create a place where we can have personal spiritual experiences. I've decided to really watch for more of these moments in my life as well as in the lives of my children. I'd like to share a story from this morning that made me think, 'Yay! Something really is sinking in." I have one daughter who has some authority issues. She hates to be told what to do or to have things not her way. Throughout the last year or so we've really been working on this. Several times I've taken her to her room and we've both prayed together that her heart would be softened (idea from Raising a Family to the Lord by Gene R. Cook). Well, yesterday was again "one of those days" where she had decided to make everyone else miserable. I was not as patient this time and put her in her room wanting her never to come out again (please tell me I'm not the only one with these feelings sometimes!). After awhile I went in there and she was very open to changing and talking about it (usually she's not interested in me at alll after one of her outbursts). Well, this morning for devotional we were talking about the President Hinckley's six "be's". When we got to "Be Prayerful" my daughter told me that yesterday morning when she was angry she said a prayer. I thought to myself, "WOW! Prayer works!" because I'd been wondering how she'd changed so quickly yesterday. My next thought was, "Yay! My daughter had a personal spiritual moment." The #1 way I think we can help our children to go through teh Core Phase is by taking that time to teach and to love, even when our schedule tells us otherwise. :-)
In stake conference this last weekend our stake president challenged us to create a place where we can have personal spiritual experiences. I've decided to really watch for more of these moments in my life as well as in the lives of my children. I'd like to share a story from this morning that made me think, 'Yay! Something really is sinking in." I have one daughter who has some authority issues. She hates to be told what to do or to have things not her way. Throughout the last year or so we've really been working on this. Several times I've taken her to her room and we've both prayed together that her heart would be softened (idea from Raising a Family to the Lord by Gene R. Cook). Well, yesterday was again "one of those days" where she had decided to make everyone else miserable. I was not as patient this time and put her in her room wanting her never to come out again (please tell me I'm not the only one with these feelings sometimes!). After awhile I went in there and she was very open to changing and talking about it (usually she's not interested in me at alll after one of her outbursts). Well, this morning for devotional we were talking about the President Hinckley's six "be's". When we got to "Be Prayerful" my daughter told me that yesterday morning when she was angry she said a prayer. I thought to myself, "WOW! Prayer works!" because I'd been wondering how she'd changed so quickly yesterday. My next thought was, "Yay! My daughter had a personal spiritual moment." The #1 way I think we can help our children to go through teh Core Phase is by taking that time to teach and to love, even when our schedule tells us otherwise. :-)
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